I also play the bodhran
- the Irish frame drum. It has 2 wooden cross-
pieces, that you use to hold the drum. It is played with a 2 ended stick,
called a tipper. It is usually about 6"
to 8" long and made of wood.
Your left hand (if right handed) goes between the head & the rods.
Your hand goes against the head (either fingertips or palm, depending
on how muffled you want it) to deaden it. You move your hand against
the head more & less to adjust the tone. You don't want the skin too
People use water to deaden the head and/or loosen it. The drum is held
vertical, sort of near or against your chest, or on your legs if sitting.
You hold the tipper like a pencil, but angled like you want to write
chest. You swing it glancing the head back & forth, and when you get
good, you can swing it further, hitting the back end against the head
That takes time, and you eventually get a windmill type movement, like
twirling the stick while hitting it.
Your wrist isn't going up & down like with matched grip - it's almost
the trad grip, except for your wrist is bent
towards you even more & angled so that both
the up strike & down stroke hit the head.
All I can say is
PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE !